A fiery condiment brand with a Northeast attitude won’t be shy about the right way to eat a sandwich.

We took the fight against food faux pas to a classic greasy spoon, with the most opinionated diner of all time—Jason Alexander (aka Seinfeld’s George Costanza)—offering up his unsolicited takes.

But not just one Jason Alexander. An entire diner full of them: Jason manning the griddle, Jason taking your order, Jason chiming in from his booth across the room…

Because when it’s on, it’s really, really on.